39 Comments

You've encouraged a generation of dental skeptics and scores of village pub dreamers with one post ... but I'm a bit worried a dildo-less "trolley" is going to show up from Germany.

Expand full comment
author

I know, Iโ€™ve jinxed it havenโ€™t I. Donโ€™t count your dildos.... ๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Expand full comment

That's funny

Expand full comment

Ha ha ha!

Expand full comment

I think the good news in all of this is that you are still cavity-free - a magnificent feat! I was in my 30s before I started having problems, and since then I've had multiple root canals, crowns, and two implants, mainly due to grinding my teeth in my sleep...

Expand full comment
author

Eeee I grind my teeth too apparently so Iโ€™m sure my days are numbered ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ us overthinkers...

Expand full comment

Get a nightguard, if you don't already have one - my problem has been with cracked teeth, rather than cavities... ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

Expand full comment
author

I have one I just hate to wear it ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ but ok youโ€™ve convinced me. The phrase โ€œcracked teethโ€ is pretty visceral ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜“

Expand full comment

I am a walking cautionary tale... ๐Ÿ˜‰ I sent you a follow-up email btw

Expand full comment
author

On it!!

Expand full comment

Dang, that's rough

Expand full comment

Oh Jill, I LOVED every word - and laughed the whole way through. Hurrah for the Fundbรผro! ๐Ÿ™Œ

You've done an AWESOME job with your looking after your teeth! When I was a child and first started going to the dentist my parents promised my brother and me that they would pay us each ยฃ25 (an absolute fortune at the time!) IF we reached the age of 25 without a single filling. My brother made it to 24... and I was 23 when I had my first. I was gutted not to have won the bounty - neither of us did - but I reckon 23 and 24 wasn't too awful an age to have been drilled for the first time.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Rebecca โค๏ธ sounds like someone owes me ยฃ38.... still dodging the drill for the moment (she says, around a mouthful of chocolate Guinness cake). โ˜บ๏ธ

Expand full comment

Brava on challenging the dentist, brava on possible good news re the pub, and brava on the return of the prodigal suitcase!!

Expand full comment
author

The prodigal suitcase ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚

Expand full comment

I wouldnโ€™t in a million years wade into even a vague discussion of โ€œwhich experts are legitimateโ€ or whatever, but: one of my close pals is a dentist, and heโ€™s emphatic that the field is almost entirely unreliable, โ€œfake,โ€ etc.

Expand full comment
author

It's pretty wild that, if I had just (not) kept my mouth shut, she would have drilled my perfect tooth..... I'll be seeing to my own dental needs from now on. โš’๏ธ

Expand full comment

The moral of the story is to floss before the dentist visit, no?

Expand full comment
author

And never give up hope for your lost dildo.

Expand full comment

Has it returned to its owner?

Expand full comment
author

Safe and sound

Expand full comment

That was not the note I was expecting to end on, but congratulations-and-Iโ€™m-so-happy-for-you on the whole lot! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Expand full comment
author

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’ช it only took three months. So glad you enjoyed it Sydney โค๏ธ

Expand full comment

So interesting. I love the translucent layers of the manโ€™s boots. Thereโ€™s a fellow vomiting. And the mirror on the left has the reflection of two characters women who arenโ€™t among the masses, but rather must be looking at all this from our point of view.

Expand full comment
author
Feb 4Author

Artist's self-portrait too.. he's the dark-haired guy in the middle raising his glass high

Expand full comment

Your suitcaaaaase!! YOUR DILDO!!! I don't mind admitting that more than once has my mind drifted to your long lost dildo and what fate had befallen him, always hoping for something bohemian and fascinating--but he's been tucked up, biding his time, and is soon to return home ๐Ÿฅน I, too, shed a little tear of happiness. Congrats, my love. Keeping my fingers tightly crossed for whatever goodness might be brewing around the pub ๐Ÿคž

Expand full comment
author

**Jillโ€™s dildoโ€™s coming ho-o-o-ome, Lord, heโ€™s been off in Deutschland for so looooong**

- to the tune of Thomas Jeffersonโ€™s coming home (Hamilton)

๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿปโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ

Expand full comment

yay about the suitcase! And the dentist. I got a filling from a new dentist after I moved from home after college. I was skeptical and said nothing. Years later, I return to the dentist I have had since I was a teenager, and he scoffed. "You always have had crevices in your crowns that look like they can become cavities, but I think you got that filling for nothing." I haven't had a cavity in the 20 years since. So be skeptical.

Expand full comment
author

Iโ€™m so sorry Thomas thatโ€™s awful. ๐Ÿ˜ž Sceptical I shall remain. Counting the minutes until the suitcase is home, unexpected deliverance! ๐Ÿคฉ

Expand full comment

Hooray for hope!

My brother-in-law was just talking about how he went to one dentist that said he needed 6 fillings and another that said he needed none. Also learned that in Korea, you wouldn't go to get glasses anywhere that took more than 30 minutes.

It's cool that professional medical care in the US is basically a shell game...I wonder why.

Expand full comment
author

More than 30 minutes....? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Expand full comment

A co-worker told me this is what it is like to get glasses in Korea and it blew my mind. https://www.tiktok.com/@stellanspice/video/7159359167772233003?lang=en

Expand full comment

In hockey terms, a Hat trick! Thanks for sharing good news. I think we can all relate to the dentist and lost luggage found triumphs and the better to be expected pub meeting.

My son and I once lost a bag with a hat and a shirt on the DisneyWorld monorail. As a lark the next day, we went to the lost and found with zero expectations. The man at the desk heard our scant details and returned in a minute with our bag. We thought it was a miracle, and it became a highlight of our trip.

Expand full comment
author

Serendipitous in the extreme! Also a nice thought that what I assumed was a thief taking my bag (to cavort with its contents, your immortal words) was just some other confused human, like me. Bless them for handing it back in

Expand full comment

Good read.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Tabitha! โค๏ธ

Expand full comment

Love this, you brought light and laughter into my inbox this morning ๐ŸŒ„

Expand full comment
author

So glad! Thanks for reading Emma-Jane ๐Ÿ™

Expand full comment